A partner sitting on the neck of another partner, parasitizing on him and trying in every possible way to live at his expense is not news. In our new article, learn how to understand that a man is sitting on your neck.
How do you know that your man comfortably settled on your neck and dangled his legs? Is it possible to ask a male parasite to come to his senses, and will this request help at all? How to get rid of such trouble?
How to recognize a male parasite
Like any other parasite, a man who sits on his neck does not manifest himself at first. He needs to take root well, sit comfortably, and only then the unsuspecting victim begins to think and understand that something is wrong here.
- you feel that the relationship is beginning to weigh;
- after work you do all the housework;
- you feel like a servant in your own house;
- you don’t have time or money for yourself;
- you feel guilty.
If at least one of these points is about you, it’s time to think about whether a man invests enough in your life and relationships.
“In order to get something, you have to give something,” the Buddhists say.
But what if your man only wants to receive, but is completely reluctant to give? How to understand that he does not want to invest in a relationship and that he is so comfortable to exist? We know the answer to this question.
Signs of a male parasite
How to understand that your man is a parasite, whom you still need to look for? We found the most obvious signs of such a comrade.
“This is not a man’s business!” says the male parasite in response to a request to wash the dishes with which he ate, cook dinner when you are tired after work, and even throw things in the washing machine. It’s a man’s business, of course, to get a mammoth for dinner, but since the mammoths are extinct, the indoor male will sit in front of the TV while you work hard on the so-called “second shift.”
“Second shift” is what thousands and thousands of women around the world are doing, working hard after their main job at the so-called “women’s”.
The male parasite believes that washing, cooking, cleaning is not a man’s business. He will carefully lay them on your shoulders, because he firmly believes that you must spend your personal resources to ensure his life and serve his needs.
“You cook/wash/clean for yourself”
Another attempt to sit on your neck – a phrase that you do it for yourself too. After all, you cook soup for yourself, so why shouldn’t he enjoy it too? After all, you also put things in order in the apartment for yourself, so it will not be shameful for him to pace around a clean dwelling.
And in the end it turns out that you do everything for your lover, because he thinks that this is normal, because you do it for yourself too.
“I am a provider!”
A male parasite can magically forget that you are also working. He comes home from work, and sits comfortably on the sofa, demands food, drink, not to block the TV, citing the fact that he is a miner, he mined all day.
And the fact that you, too, are at work all day, does not bother him. He only cares that he himself is tired.
“First yours, and then – each his own”
Everything is like in the old folk tale: “first, godfather, we eat yours, and then – each his own.” A male parasite firmly believes that his salary is his money, and your salary is your common money.
He can save up for himself for a new spinning rod, for a car or a set-top box, but you buy food, household chemicals, consumables and every household trifle. And, of course, if, God forbid, you buy yourself a dress or cosmetics, the male parasite will immediately reproach: here, you spent money, but you could buy something in the house!
Now he has problems and temporary difficulties, so you definitely need to help him: having sorted out all domestic issues, and sometimes also financial ones. He will lie on the couch, eat all the delicious things that you have prepared and, of course, you will have to listen to all his complaints and show empathy.
But time passes, and temporary difficulties do not recede. Moreover, they accumulate.
As soon as you do not want to do as he wants, the male parasite begins to stomp his feet, lament loudly and wring his hands. He threatens to go out into the night without a hat, complains that nothing works out for him and that you don’t need him like that. But all this is only for you to come, regret, help and take everything upon yourself.
And he can manipulate very gently. He says that you are so grasping and that you will definitely do better than him. He can deliberately mow, so that you, remembering the saying “if you want to do something well, do it yourself”, do everything yourself.
What to do if a man sat on his neck
What to do if you find that a man sat on your neck and dangled his legs? We propose to solve this problem in several stages.
First stage. Negotiation
Clearly and concisely formulate your claims and requirements. There should be no vague requests, complaints or grumblings. It is impossible to mumble in negotiations with a parasite.
Express all your demands and claims and do not succumb to manipulation and attempts to bring to conflict.
Second phase. Result of negotiations
The result of negotiations can be both positive and negative. With a positive one, the man will really improve and will help you, and with a negative one, he will start to make a fuss or pretend that he has improved.
With a positive one, you can be calm: a man is not a parasite and wants to invest in relationships. If negative, go to the third stage.
Third stage. Pay
Act harshly and harshly, without pity or sentimentality. A male parasite is waiting for you to serve him, so you need to do everything exactly the opposite.
Prepare to eat only for yourself. Buy goodies just for yourself. Wash only your clothes. Mind your own business and satisfy only your needs. Let the parasite know that those who do not work and do not invest do not get anything.
Fourth stage. We expel the parasite
If nothing has changed, and the man has not learned his lesson, you should just end this relationship.
It is unfair and dishonest when one person does all the work, tries and invests in relationships, and the second only reaps the rewards.